A while back, when I was having CBT for social anxiety, the woman I was seeing told me to write notes to myself. To help with the social anxiety side. I found the process quite interesting and felt a release when I did this.

I was thinking about this the other day while I was commuting to work on the London Overground. And I somehow started pondering about my younger years, like, when I was in my late teens dreading my 20s, having high expectations for where my life was going. I then started imagining in my mind that if I could somehow, get in touch with 19 year old me, what messages would I give her for the future? So with that, I decided to write it down, and lucky you I decided to share it on my blog..

So here it is, the notes I would give to 19 year old me if I could;

– you are going to get answers for all those things you think are wrong with you, and things will be (slightly) easier when you do.

– Those people who you call your friends right now. They’re not. But power through, because a few years from now you are going to meet the most amazing friends on the planet.

– you’re not as stupid as you think you are.

– you won’t work in this shop for much longer, you’re really going to surprise yourself.

– you’re not going to find love easy, or relationships, you won’t find the one any time soon either. But embrace the relationships you have anyway. You are going to learn so much about yourself from each and every one. You won’t see it at the time, especially when it falls apart, but you will.

– trust your gut. Always. You will trip up on this from time to time, but a majority of the gut instincts you’re going to have in the next decade won’t be wrong.

– write more. Don’t leave it too late before you remember how much you love doing it.

– Don’t dye your hair jet black. You will look weird.

– Social media is a trap.

– Try not to stress too much over the things you can’t change, you’re not going to listen to this, but I had to say it anyway.

– Think long and hard about some situations that arise for you, and consider the affect it will have on those around you. You may live to regret losing certain people through your actions.

– do not drink vodka. Ever. You will learn by your mid 20s that this does not go well with you and will have awful repercussions. Try sweet rum, you’ll love it.

– People hurt each other. Regardless of whether they want to. You will hurt people, and people will hurt you. It’s just the way humans are, try not to let it crush you too much, you will learn the difference between the ones who mean to and the ones who don’t.

– You will be okay on your own. Spend a LOT more time finding yourself and figuring yourself out. You won’t always get it right, and it will take you a long time to learn but that’s okay. You do you.

– LOVE YOURSELF MORE.

This is going to sound really strange, and I get that this post is rather random. But that somehow, in some weird twisted way, made me feel better. And also managed to get my mind off of crippling social anxiety that I’m experiencing right now about going away for the weekend.