Disclaimer: although some of this post may sound like I’m against them, I am, just like most women and love a good chick flick.

Since as far as I can remember, chick flicks have always been a big thing. You barely ever go to the cinema without seeing 2/3 new trailers for some really comical looking story about a girl meeting a guy. But there was always something that really pissed me off about chick flicks: it was always about getting with a guy in the end. And more importantly: the woman most of the time changes something to suit the love interest.

Without meaning to be, chick flicks have quite regularly thrown out this idea that you are not truly happy until you’re with someone. Therefore, making most women think that they’re incomplete without a guy on their arm. And that’s not okay.

Now as I say in the disclaimer, I’m a sucker for chick flicks too and I love a good giggle and cry and romance and those big romantic gesture scenes (very unlikely to happen in real life by the way) always give me butterflies.

But, this is a new generation. Full of many people who do not focus on relationships. There’s a lot more women in their 30’s who are single (go us!), and care more about travelling or careers. So we need less of this ‘a guy saves you in the end’ shit.

If you were to take a closer look at some of the most popular romantic chick flicks, They’re all fantastic films for their time, but in all of these films the woman role is always giving up something for love, or lying about who she is to impress someone else, or changing things about themselves by the end of the film to be with their love. Now this isn’t always 100% wrong. Sometimes, in love, you do make sacrifices. There has to be compromise somewhere along the line.. and when it comes to these films individually, there isn’t anything majorly wrong with them on their own.. the issue is that all of the films go in that direction and that is what’s not okay.

Women should not feel like they have to go out of their way to chase a guy, lie to him, give up their dreams just because this guy might not be there or love them at the end. It’s wrong to expect women to constantly centre their attention on a guy.

Most importantly: if a guy is not going to wait for you or appreciate that you have dreams and goals too, he’s not the one for you honey.

Thankfully, chick flicks are taking an amazing new direction. It started with Isn’t It Romantic? Coming out a few months back, where Rebel Wilson gets trapped in a romantic comedy universe (much to her dismay) and although she does realise who the guy for her is by the end of it, the lesson she learns is how to love herself. And that is so important to portray in a chick flick in this day and age.

Then came Someone Great. A film focused on 3 best friends on a little night out so one of them can get over her ex who dumped her the night before. This film is full of laughs and all about friendship. But the best part about this film for me *spoiler alert* is she does not get back with her ex at the end!!

Let’s be honest, so many chick flicks do that don’t they? They either take the guy back at the end or they meet a new guy to run off with instead. The beauty of this film is it does not do that. Truth is, you don’t entirely know where their lives will go at the end of the film, but the lead girl is moving to a new town as part of her career and fair play to her, she is taking chances and grabbing the bull by the horns, and one day, yes, she probably will meet someone who shits all over her ex as a person and makes her realise why no other relationship worked. But we don’t need this in every single effing film we watch guys!

Always be my maybe has just recently come out on Netflix too, and that film is superb. In this film, the woman gives up nothing, she is career driven and it beautifully has a role reversal where for once the guy is chasing her and he is the one who moves to stay with her. I like the way this works out because it is also good to see that a woman can be successful and powerful and not have to chase a guy around. Women deserve to see this portrayed in films where a woman doesn’t give up her dreams for a guy.

Now I may come across in my posts etc like I’m bitter about love because I’m some 33 year old Singleton who literally has the worst luck with men but I don’t give up on the idea of love. I’d love to meet someone one day and have everything make perfect sense.

But I also think it is extremely important that women don’t feel like they are failing because they’re not settled down yet. We are not failures for knowing what we want and going out and getting it!

So if you are single – and also, this isn’t gender specific either – no one should feel like a failure for being alone, just remember that things always work out one way or another and there is nothing wrong with putting your career first or getting to know yourself before you meet someone else, so don’t feel like you have to be with someone because people are telling you to.

It isn’t always about finding someone to complete you. Complete yourself.